On October 30, 1980, I was born in the crazy borough of The Bronx, New York.
This past Sunday, I turned 25 years old. I named this post after a collection of essays by Nikki Giovanni when she turned 25, called "Gemini..."; I think it is fitting for a title of my own 25-year life.
If I was to tell a story about my life it would have to start with the interesting life of a black-sheep grandfather who separated himself from the rest of his siblings. It would then turn to a hard working mother who gave a lot so her only son could have an easier life.
My life has never been the smoothest of rides. Growing up without a father was never really a problem because I never had any problems with feeling unloved by the family and friends around me. However, when you don't have a lot of financial resources in your life, you're always wondering if you'll be able to achieve all the things you dream about. Therefore, most of the time I only think about the lack of a father when I'm broke. I understand that over the obstacles I've come a very long way... much longer than what was expected of me and much longer than most people who come from where I'm from. For this, I'm blessed.
This past year, my 25th year, has been an up and down year. I have probably never experienced so much loss and gain at any time in my life - Death came in threes
- A classmate of mine who I went to law school with was killed.
- A college classmate of mine was killed a month later.
- A distant cousin of mine was killed, execution style, in Jamaica.
At the same time, there were great things that happened - My best friend became a father and named me the godfather, I graduated from law school, I passed the bar exam, my cousin is going to college and he likes it!
But even with all that, trying to find work became a very stressful time to the point where I am starting to suspect that my eyebrow hair is falling out (I know that sounds weird, but I think it's true). Also, I think that I lost a friend, which is weird because she wasn't the friend I thought I was going to lose in the first place. And now I have these flashbacks of better times, smiling, laughing, and crying together.
Life is always a mix of comedy and tragedy; this past year I have experienced many emotions that fit into both categories. For goodness sake, I could have an emmy award winning tv show based on this past year. Not to mention that I have no love life to speak of, my bedroom apartment is in desperate need of repair, and I have shamefully become addicted to "America's Next Top Model."
I wanted to have a theme for my birthday weekend... I was going to go out, have fun, make a whole bunch of noise... But I realized that I'm too broke to do any of that stuff. But I still wanted a theme - "They didn't think we'd make it past 25, jokes on them we still alive-weekend" But the joke was on me - all I did was watch football and cook a boat load of pancakes for my Sunday breakfast. But I realize that I still enjoyed myself. I enjoyed myself because I appreciate everyday, and I appreciate all the good, the bad, and the ugly that I have had the ability to experience in this life. So I figure that as long as I don't catch the bird flu, I have a lot to be happy about... I have a lot to live for.
